Letters to My Younger Self - Three Rules to Live By

Dearest youngling,

Listen to the words of someone who's gone through things you will hopefully never go through.  I'm going to lay down some ground rules for your life.  If you follow them, your life will be a million times more wonderful than mine has been.  This is just the first three...more will definitely follow!

Rule Number One: NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR FEELINGS.

Your emotions are the mechanism your spirit uses to tell your mind that something is good or bad for you.  If you feel good about something, trust that.  If you feel bad, something is wrong.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your feelings...your feelings are yours.  They are your private language with the part of you that is also God, the part that loves you unconditionally and wants you to be happy and healthy.

No one gets to tell you how you should feel.  Which leads me to...

Rule Number Two: NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL.

No one makes you mad.  No one makes you sad.  No makes you feel dumb.  Thinking that others can make you feel gives others power over you.

But that 2 year old made his mother mad, you say?  Does a 2 year old really have power over a grown woman?  Only if the grown woman decides that the 2 year old should be in charge!  You are responsible for your own feelings; and pretending otherwise is making yourself a victim when you should be the hero.

So if you feel angry, accept that you feel angry, and find the real reason why.  You aren't angry because that person said something mean.  You are angry either because you are afraid that person is right, or because you feel out of control and want to control the other person.  Which leads me to...

Rule Number Three:  YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE EXCEPT YOURSELF.

If you are not happy, figure out what's wrong, and change yourself.  You will never find another person who can make you happier than you can make yourself.  You know you better than anyone else ever can.

You can't make another person care about the same things you care about, but you can find other people who are more like you.  You can also examine those things, and see how important they really are to you.

You will change throughout your life.  The only constant in this universe is change.  So you have to decide whether you are going to change for the better, or for the worse.

Love,
Someone Who Wishes She'd Known These Things Decades Ago

Beacon

During a lovely, fun, feel-good Litha celebration with the other ladies of the house (resident males were on the road, playing video games, and taking an incredibly late nap,) I prayed for inspiration and creativity among other things.

And here is the first poem I have written in many months, nine months I believe, composed mainly in my head as I watched Elmo in Grouchland with my toddler. :D



Beacon
by Ashley Rae Curran (if you steal this, invisible faeries will cause malfunctions in all your electronics until you repent and give credit where it is due. Just so you know.)

Though layers of darkness
block the stars, the moon, the sun;
though the fat, the lies, facades
drape like salted bandages over festering wounds;
though doubt, shame, hate
reflect in every window, every mirror;
I choose to be a beacon,
radiating love without limits,
guiding the willing towards the light;
offering hope,
for peace, for joy.

My Ideal Lifestyle

I am ready to love my life to the fullest, and in that spirit, last week I took my notebook to the park, and between pushes of the toddler swing my son insisted on riding, I wrote a detailed list of every thing I would like to accomplish on a daily basis.

It's a long list, but totally doable.

Every day I rise with the sun, get tea and breakfast started, and perform a devotional followed by daily guidance divination. I want to rise with the sun because sunrise is beautiful. Tea is important because I rarely get enough sleep and coffee makes me jittery. Breakfast is important for nourishing my brain and body. My devotional is my prayer of gratitude, talking to the Divine, and my daily guidance divination is one way the Divine talks back.

Every morning I write until my son wakes, after which I spend time seeing to my son's needs, including a fresh diaper or assistance using the potty, lots of cuddles, food, and drink. Then I take him outside, so every day we get fresh air and have the opportunity to enjoy this beautiful world.

Every day I sing to myself, my son, my family, and the people on the road beside me fortunate enough to also have no air conditioning. Singing is one way I express the beauty of my soul. It heals me, and helps me radiate love and joy.

Every day, I make something beautiful. Maybe a new craft, maybe a poem, maybe organizing stuff in a more pleasing way, or maybe just a beautiful presentation of the food I cook, as long as every day I contribute to beauty in the world.

Every day I nourish my body with plenty of water and delicious, nutritious, vegan food. Every day I break a sweat by working my muscles, getting my heart pumping, and expressing love for myself and joy for life in yoga, dance, or play.

Every day I learn something new, whether from reading, observing, or experiencing something in a whole new way.

Every day I say I love you, and every day I talk to a loved one.

Every evening, I make a delicious, nutritious dinner for my family, and encourage each member to talk about their day. This is my way of showing gratitude for their love.

Every night, I greet the moon, remembering how huge she is compared to me, and how tiny a space she holds in the enormity of the universe.

Before bed, I clean the kitchen and pick up the common room and my bedroom, because cleaning is an act of love, and waking up to a (relatively) clean house is a wonderful thing.

Before bed I clean my body, brush my teeth, moisturize my hands and feet, and rub my neck and shoulders, because I deserve to feel loved and pampered.

Before sleep I do my affirmations, co-creating my world with the Divine. I write and work after getting my son to sleep, and any time I can throughout the day, then nourish my mind, body, an spirit with six to seven hours of sleep before greeting the dawn.